My Side of the Story.

One by one, I will vindicate every tear. The depth of her strategic web of lies and manipulation is so extensive it’s almost unbelievable. Even though the pain I feel from her discreet and subtle sabotaging, I continue to make excuses for her. Justifying her actions by telling myself that there is no way a mother treats her child with such hate and resentment. It is our natural instinct to believe a mom only has good intentions for her child, or to run to a parent in a time of need or for comfort. We crave that as humans. To know that our feelings are real and that we are not invisible. “What you allow is what will continue.” I let this treatment from her go on for far too long. One by one, people I hold dear in my heart began listening to the lies. The lies that my mother enjoys spreading in order to push people away from me, in hopes I have no one but her. Not to mention creating situations behind the scenes, making my life extremely difficult. And while I am confiding in her, she’s taking those things and turning right around to use them against me. Her favorite way to hurt me is through funerals, weddings, family reunions, or any other family event. Using my pain to boost herself. Lately, the covert side of her narcissism, is more forefront than ever. I am now dealing with the realization that there is no love from my mom. Not then, not now, and not ever. She has trauma herself, which is obvious from the way she speaks about her mother, and doesn’t call her by name. She has scars I am sure, and she is passing those scars onto me. It just really sucks to know that the scars are all there intentionally.